After the highly anticipated opening of our new little Taproom in Simpsonville, the wife and I left the kids with Grandma and headed out for some beers and maybe a small bite to eat just to sample what might become our new local hang out. We waited exactly one month to the date before heading over to check them out so we wouldn't get the wrong first impression. Enough time to get all the kinks worked out and all you know, just to be fair and give the new guy the benefit of the doubt.
Unfortunately a month was not nearly enough time for them and I'm afraid that a year still might not be enough time. The food we had was simply disgusting. I don't even think I should have taken a second bite just for the sake of my health. Although I am writing this review based off of one particular food item on the menu (as I hope the other food is actually eatable), after this one experience, I don't think I could ever find myself returning to try anything else ever again.
Lets start with the good. The beer selection is quite decent. I found myself wanting to try 5 or 6 different selections they had at the time and was very impressed with the bartenders knowledge of each different option. I was even offered a sample of each different beer before being stuck with an entire pint of something that could have been less than desirable. The bar itself, was clean and overall, nothing to complain about for appearance. The waitstaff were all very friendly and more than willing to strike-up a conversation and an intellectual one at that. The fries, were the only thing eatable and not objectionable. As far as the good goes, I think that is about it, did I mention they have some amazing beer selections on tap.
Now for the review part of this post. If you take a good look at the picture above, and please forgive me for the picture not being so pretty, but I blame part of the fault on the subject. That my friends is what Wild Oats calls "Fish Tacos". Grilled white fish served with two soft tortillas with lettuce, cheese and mango salsa for $8.49. I know Wild Oats wants to be known as a taproom, but lets get things straight right off the bat. They are just another Sports Bar in a location that has had many failed sports bars. Granted they do have the tap beer selection to back-up this statement of being a taproom, but it is nothing more than a sports bar trying to pass off horrible food being prepared by some $7/hr cook whose food is a direct resemblance on what his girlfriend situation at that particular moment is. So if it is a sports bar disguised as a taproom with an pretty decent tap selection, why didn't I try the typical bar food like wings or a burger? I cannot answer that question, but all I know is I wish I would have. I really wish I would have tried some wings or something rather than what I chose. Its a sports bar for crying out loud and I should have known better than to go outside of a sports bars comfort zone and I take partial responsibility, but on the other hand, if it is on the menu, it had better be the best quality food you humanly can put out that door. I chose the fish tacos because of the "Mango Salsa". How hard is it to screw up a fish taco? Well, just walk into Wild Oats and you will see first hand.
Where to begin, this thing was just bad from the beginning. It shows up and looks like, well what you see above. It had maybe 1 or 2 oz. of regurgitated food (I'm not even sure if that was fish or not or if the chef was going to be Ace Ventura, Pet Detective for Halloween just two days from my visit) that looked and smelled like a can of tuna that has been left out in the hot sun for about a week. Seriously, I don't even know if what I placed in my mouth was actual fish. Secondly, the lettuce was brown and black and had the texture of tofu just being removed from an airtight package floating in liquid. Cheese, yeah, it had about three or four little pieces the size of what you might find on a salad, slivers. Tomato, yeah it was frozen. Mango Salsa? Where are you? "Oh, we are all out and have been for a few days now (kind of like we never have had it in the first place), so we just thought you might like it the way it was without any salsa (or flavor other than rotten canned tuna). Have a nice day. Thank you, come again."
Please don't waist your time thinking about eating anything that comes out of the kitchen at Wild Oats Taproom. If you do go, and please do, they have great beer, just stick with the liquids. My doctor has advised me not to trust anything that ever comes out of that kitchen without going back and cooking it myself. I will also leave you to judge the clientele at this lovely local taproom. I get the feeling that the same regulars who were the root cause for the closure of the previous Sports Bar are to going to become the cancer of this place. Lets hope not and hope that they can turn things around and or just remove the fish tacos from the menu. Unfortunately, for me, this meal has ruined my chances of ever returning again to dine as these kind of experiences cannot be taken back or ever forgotten.
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